UNGGHHHHHHHH

Good Bad morning everyone! I hope you slept better than I did, although knowing diabetes I’m sure there are a couple of you who really didn’t.

I lost count of how many times I was jolted awake by my CGM alarms last night, but it was around 5. Lows and highs, as usual. Geting up to treat lows several times.

I’m sleep deprived already, for various reasons, so when I woke up this morning with that disgusting lazy tired angry lead-weight feeling, I was like

Obviously I Do Not Want this to happen again. Preferably ever (haaaah). The go-to approach is to try to isolate the cause. Recent exercise? Pre-sleep carbs or insulin?

But... recently my insulin sensitivity has plummeted (4 units seem to do what 1 unit did a couple of weeks ago), my basal needs have been playing party politics (right, left, and independent!) and pretty much nothing is stable so basically...

The way things have been going recently, the “diabetes debugging” approach is futile. That’s when I resort to “diabetes tinkering”.

(Don’t do this at home.)

In plain English, that means that it is useless to try to find what caused this problem; I just need to mess around with things until they work. Which is actually fairly typical of MDI basal problems, although I don’t think that’s the main factor at play here.

Over the last couple of weeks, my Levemir dose has been slowly migrating from evening to morning. It was at around 8 in the evening and 2 in the morning, and there was a complex dance including the addition of a few units in the early afternoon, and an overall rise in total daily basal, and now my evening basal seems intent to reach zero.

Such crazy things are happening—I’ve been steadily losing weight on low-carb, which of course is supposed to increase insulin sensitivity. The opposite has happened. People say their insulin needs drop when they start low-carbing. Well, mine didn’t. (When I tried low-carbing for a while years ago, insulin needs dropped maybe 60%.)

So once again,

Of course, I have been having snacks in the evenings, and being lazy or making mistakes. And I’ve also started using a very different kind of insulin (Afrezza). And my epilepsy medication hasn’t been consistent recently. Those last two things scream for “diabetes tinkering”.

Plus, life is hectic. I feel like, because of this blog, I need to be an example for others, or something. But after all these years I haven’t managed to get to the point where I can usually go “ahhh... it’s doing that thing again” and know what to do about it. It’s like the space of diabetes configurations is infinite and diabetes wants to explore them all.

Some people have it easier; some have it harder. Some can find carb ratios and basals that more or less work for long periods of time. Others are living on a roulette table that never stops spinning. And it can change over time. In the years when my epilepsy was untreated, everything would swing and flap around, weekly. Now it’s not too bad—although I’m asking for trouble by changing diets and insulins and psychotropic medication.

Did I have a point...? Oh that’s right—my diabetes is all over the place and I wanted to share that with you, rather than hiding it.

PS I remembered that in one of my fitful dreams last night, I had a compelling reason to remove a pillow from a pillowcase. I don’t remember the reason but there was one. I thought it was just a dream. But I went to the bedroom just now and I found this...

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