Whooh, there we go. After a few months with only half-maybe-seizures, I had a pretty distinct one. A mild focal/partial/who-really-knows, which is about the worst that happens at this point. But I’m not here to talk about that.
Epilepsy’s major events like tonic-clonics (though I have never had one) kind of dwarf the myriad other weird and hard-to-describe symptoms. I’m hoping that my putting them into words might help others deal with them.
Believe it or not, this post is about... technique. One of the puzzle pieces that has dawned on us recently is the way a seizure changes my technique.
I literally mean, technique. The way I drink out of a cup. The way I inject my muscles with insulin. The way I walk! Bianca and I have noticed things that really seem like a change in technique.
At first we called it clumsiness. But that didn’t quite capture it. I just seem to undergo a “permanent” change in the way I move and do things. I use different technique. And it doesn’t quite work. I have to unlearn it and relearn the right technique.
For instance, while injecting into my biceps they would twitch (very painfully). I had solved this problem months ago. And I did this by pressing my arm against the opposite thigh. But now it wasn’t working any more. I knew exactly how I used to do it. I pressed my arm down in my lap. Well, I could have sworn that was it. Eventually I started experimenting and found that I had to press down with my fist.
It was like my muscle memory and my factual memory had been displaced. A similar thing happened with drinking out of a cup. I was arranging my lips in a different way and spilling constantly. I had to experiment and re-learn. Clumsiness doesn’t cover it.